That summer my mom unfortunately fell and broke her hip. Back and forth, in and out of the hospital she was and so were we to visit as often as we could. Needless to say it was a stressful summer. At 6 months pregnant, mom landed back in the hospital and I knew in my heart, that this was the countdown to her time remaining on earth. Her cancer had spread throughout her whole body and she was deteriorating quickly. So back home to NS I flew. The single most heart wrenching visit, saying goodbye to her in the hospital the day before I had to fly back to Florida, knowing that I was never going to see her alive again.
And so they day finally came when she took her last breath. December 6th, 2007. I was 8 months pregnant and once again enroute to NS. Under Dr.s orders not to fly, we packed the van, and drove up. 3 days of bathroom breaks every hour, 3 sleepless nights in hotels. Made it there and said goodbye to the woman who gave me life. One of the strongest ladies I have ever known. She was now comfortably resting in heaven smiling down at us...our personal guardian angel. The weeks that followed, we were able to stay and try our hardest to enjoy Christmas with my dad. All was fine until I decided to fall down the stairs on our way out to dinner Christmas Day. I was able to stop my fall by bracing myself with my arms..in the process spraining my wrist. Geesh. Klutz.
Now my time to deliver is getting closer and closer and all I can think about it holding that baby in until I at least cross over the Canada/USA border. I need to have an American baby so as to avoid all the paperwork that I would have had to fill out!! Finally we pack up and head back South. We cross the border and I breathe a sigh of relief. Now just get me home so I can deliver in my hospital with my midwife. Every State that we cross into has me offering up a little prayer of thanks for getting us that much closer to home. Nights were hell. Pacing the hotel room floor. Contractions. I'm not sure how I didn't deliver on the floor of that Super Eight hotel in North Carolina....must have been my guardian angel watching over me.
FINALLY make it home to Florida and the stubborn baby has decided he's not going to arrive for another 3 weeks. Any time now. The morning of my scheduled induction arrives and off we go at 4am to the hospital. 6am the Pitocin starts flowing. 8am my epidural kicks in. 10:15am baby boy arrives into the world. My fabulous midwife Lucy decides that she's going to let Shaw scrub in and deliver the baby!! Whoa. What? Here is where I wish I had the camera and was taking the pictures of Shaw because he was blue the whole time. I think he forgot to breathe while he was busy extracting baby's head and shoulders from....well, you all know where baby's come from!
Welcome to the world. 8lbs12oz. 22inches. 10 fingers. 10 toes. Perfect.
These last 3 years haven't been easy with him. He's been much later to start everything than the other 2. His speech was delayed and I was very concerned so I took him to a Speech Therapist at All Children's. Turns out he was just lazy and wanted Brooklyn and Dallas to do all the talking for him. Everyone said, one day he'll just start talking and he won't shut up. Well, they were right! He loves hugs and he makes even my most miserable day better when he just walks up to me and says, "can I have a big hug mamma? Big kiss?" At night when he says... "I love you mamma. Lay down"...I could stay curled up with him forever. His latest accomplishment has been staying dry all day in his big boy under ware. I was so stressed out about his lack of commitment to the cause a few months back, that I just gave up completely trying. I figured he wouldn't be going to Kindergarten with diapers still on, so I still had time and I wasn't going to stress out about it. And it worked. He decided on his own that he no longer likes diapers and wants to be in under ware all day. But that also means staying dry!
My baby boy is no longer my baby. I know that my mom is smiling down on us today, wishing she was here to give him a big birthday hug and share some cake. I also know that no matter where Madden goes, he has his own personal guardian angel sitting on his shoulder. Love and miss you mom. Happy birthday Madden. Kisses and hugs to you both xo.
Lyrics to Lightning Crashes
Lightening crashes, a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door
Lightening crashes, an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now, to the baby down the hall
Oh I feel it comin' back again
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it
Lightening crashes, a new mother cries
This moment she's been waiting for
The angel opens her eyes
Pale blue colored iris
Presents the circle
Puts the glory out to hide, hide.
Wow what a powerful post Rachelle, it brought tears to my eyes.
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